Wednesday, March 3, 2010

How to Avoid Studying Without Really Trying

Don't have the appropriate materials that you'll need. This will allow you to get in a lot of conversations with others who live on your hall.

Realize after you begin studying that you need to go to the bathroom, or are hungry, or that you need to write a letter, or that you aren't clear about an assignment, or that you have to find out the details of a friend's date.

Dwell on how dull the course is and thoroughly believe that if you just had a half-way decent instructor all the material would be easier to understand and be more interesting.

Plan to study all the time and schedule no recreational time. This will allow you to feel virtuous and help keep you from seeing that you actually put in very little productive study time.

Develop a kind of smug, superior attitude that can be used to impress others with the fact that you don't need to study, that it somehow is beneath your dignity and that it is not worth your serious consideration.

Only study in your residence hall room with the door open. This will assure you of being there if friends call or drop in.

When people do come and interrupt your study, don't send them away because you'll hurt their feelings.

If your room is too quiet, find a place to study in the library where there is a lively social gathering. (An alternative to the library would be in the snack bar, next to the TV, and sitting at a table with a group of people playing cards.) Why be bored when you study?

Remember and practice the things you learned about studying when you were in high school. College isn't any different.

Always drink beer while you study. It helps you relax, and popping all those cans builds strength in your hands and arms.

Remember that "A clean and uncluttered desk is a sign of a sick mind."

Never study material you don't enjoy since you'll obviously never use it anyway.

Always remember that people will think you're smarter if you flunk a test because you didn't study rather than flunking it when you did study.

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